They come for your door in a stretch limousine and hold the doors open for you; there are no searches or formalities to go through and you don’t have to empty your pockets or take your belt or shoelaces off.
The cells are tastefully decorated with views of the beach and are padded in spongy leather with buttons – as most of us Twitters out there are quite mad.
They serve three gourmet meals a day, and – as you are loyal to Twitter – they serve only the best wine with each meal. If you’re a tad unsure as to what wine goes with which meal, you have your very own personal sommelier to guide you on the choice of wine. If only…
When you find yourself in jail, it means that your account is ‘temporally suspended’. Temporally in the dictionary is defined as ‘Lasting only for a time; not eternal; passing’.
Now you would think that Twitter (being one of the most up-to-date websites on the internet) would have a specific time for each visit, or even a little monitor on the side of the page to tell you when you’re approaching the limit, but no.
On my worst day, I found myself in TJ five times, with the temporary suspension lasting anywhere between a couple of minutes to a couple of hours. Apparently they can block your account for a ‘temporary’ 24 hours. It’s all done using their logarithms which decide how long they block you for. No, I don’t understand anything about it either; I’m just a humble scribbler.
The process is simple. You sit down at the keyboard ready to do some serious tweeting or pay-back; you start visiting your loyal followers, pick out an interesting or relevant tweet and simply hit the ‘retweet’ button. However, say your plan is to Tweet 80 followers, one after the other; you’re getting on well when suddenly a message pops up and tells you ‘You are over the daily limit for sending Tweets. Please wait a few hours and try again’. Welcome my friend, you’ve landed yourself in ‘Twitter Jail’.
While you’re in jail, your followers keep re-tweeting you – adding even more debt to your pay-back list and all you can do is sit in front of your keyboard pulling your hair out. ( I don’t have that problem)
Unfortunately, if you miss a couple of hours/days, the backlog mounts up and now that I’m over 3000 followers and getting anywhere between 100 – 200 RTs every day; it gets quite out of control.
The Official Twitter Solution.
Don’t exceed the Twitter limit of 1000 tweets per day
Don’t send out any more than 250 direct messages per day
Don’t follow more than 1000 accounts per day
A Suggested Solution.
Tweet intensely for only 30 minutes, then take a 30 minute break. Works sometimes.
Use a third party app like TweetDeck or Buffer or Hootsuite to spread your tweets out over the hour/day/week.
If you notice your tweets start to take longer to clear the page, this usually means (in my experience) that you’re approaching your limit.
Good luck and if you do find yourself in Twitter Jail, ask for the ‘83 Chardonnay; it’s divine.